Friday, October 7, 2011

On My Heart: Missing Pieces of Me

Growing up I always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic. I believed love to be powerful, passionate, and all consuming. I believed in love at first sight and that somewhere out in this great big world my soul-mate was searching for me. In my eyes love was always worth fighting for.

Growing up I loved getting lost in the beauty of nature, of art, of music, of books filled with words heavy with passion and truth.

I miss that part of myself.

Somewhere in the mess of life, and stress, and heartache I lost me. Maybe part of it has to do with getting older or maybe it has to do with all the struggles I have encountered over the last 8 years of my life. I know that facing trails can make you a stronger, more wiser person but how do you not let it steal away the passion you once had for life? 

I feel so jaded these days.

I know I need to slow down and open my eyes to all the beauty that's around me and focus my attention on all the little pleasures in life, like the way my daughter stares up at me while sitting in my lap with the most beautiful dark blue eyes I have ever seen, or the way my hand still fits so perfectly in my husbands, even after all these years together, or the way a certain song can leave me hopeful and daydreaming.

Life is filled with so much beauty and love, but as you get older and have the demands of life on your shoulders it becomes a lot harder to see.

My goal for myself is to take the time each day to daydream about love, to forget about all the bills and stress and challenges of life, even if its just for a minute. Those things will always be there but this precious time I have with my daughter, with my husband, with my family and friends wont last forever.

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