On My Heart: Missing Pieces of Me

Growing up I always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic. I believed love to be powerful, passionate, and all consuming. I believed in love at first sight and that somewhere out in this great big world my soul-mate was searching for me. In my eyes love was always worth fighting for.

Growing up I loved getting lost in the beauty of nature, of art, of music, of books filled with words heavy with passion and truth.

I miss that part of myself.

Somewhere in the mess of life, and stress, and heartache I lost me. Maybe part of it has to do with getting older or maybe it has to do with all the struggles I have encountered over the last 8 years of my life. I know that facing trails can make you a stronger, more wiser person but how do you not let it steal away the passion you once had for life? 

I feel so jaded these days.

I know I need to slow down and open my eyes to all the beauty that's around me and focus my attention on all the little pleasures in life, like the way my daughter stares up at me while sitting in my lap with the most beautiful dark blue eyes I have ever seen, or the way my hand still fits so perfectly in my husbands, even after all these years together, or the way a certain song can leave me hopeful and daydreaming.

Life is filled with so much beauty and love, but as you get older and have the demands of life on your shoulders it becomes a lot harder to see.

My goal for myself is to take the time each day to daydream about love, to forget about all the bills and stress and challenges of life, even if its just for a minute. Those things will always be there but this precious time I have with my daughter, with my husband, with my family and friends wont last forever.

On Pumpkins, Baby Gym, Meet Up Groups, and Sleep

Fall is finally here and I am loving it! This is by far my favorite time of year (oh and also spring of course)! Mike and I are so excited to be spending Halloween with Chloe this year. We decided we're not going to dress Chloe up in costume this Halloween but we are going to take her on a little adventure in a few weeks to Bob's Corn and Pumpkin Farm to have some fun outside and to pick out three perfect pumpkins to take home and carve! I love doing stuff like this as a family and having Chloe here with us makes it that much more special!

In other news, can you believe that in just 8 days my sweet Chloe is going to be 4 months old? Time is just going way to fast these days! We decided that this would be the perfect time to enroll Chloe in her own little gym class. Last Tuesday we had our first introductory class at The Little Gym, Chloe and I had the greatest time! Chloe's class is called Bugs(how cute is that) and the age range is from 4-10 months old. Chloe is the youngest in her class but there is this adorable little boy who is just a few weeks older then Chloe, and my daughter seems to have a little crush on him, she was holding his hand and even trying to show off in front of him!!

The class is 45 minutes long and packed with so many great activities for babies and parents to do. Our teacher was so fun, encouraging, and great with all the babies. He seemed to really love his job and was very knowledgeable on child development. Overall I felt that the staff was very kind, energetic, and helpful! My favorite part of the class was when we put all the babies in the middle of this big colorful parachute and all the mommies grabbed an end of the parachute and walked slowly in a circle while singing a song, it was so adorable seeing a bunch of babies laying and sitting together in the middle of this big parachute! I think Chloe and I are going to have a lot of fun in this class, and that we're really going to learn a lot together. I also hope that my daughter and I can make some really great friendships with the other babies and mommies!

Also just recently I joined a Mommy and baby group on the website Meetup. We haven't gone to any of the groups meetups yet but we are really excited to. I'm really hoping that Chloe and I will make some great friendships. I definitely think its important to have some adult interaction from time to time otherwise I will probably go crazy just talking to a baby all day!

Oh and some other wonderful news in the Lang household is that Chloe has been sleeping great this week!! She either wakes up once around 4 in the morning to nurse and then falls back asleep till 8:30 or 9 or she will sleep through the night and wont wake up till 8:30 or 9 in the morning!

It's so wonderful to be getting some sleep again!

Wordless Wednesday: Backseat Fun

She Loves When I Sing

My daughter loves it when I hold her close and sing to her. I wonder what age she will be when she finally realizes that her Mom cant sing. I really hope its not for a long, long time because I really love those moments!

Dear Chloe: One Year Ago Today

Dear Chloe,

          It was exactly a year ago today that your Mommy and Daddy found out that you were growing inside Mommy's belly. I instantly fell in love with you and daydreamed about you constantly, and as my belly grew and the days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and as I watched fall turn into winter, and winter turn into spring the anticipation of finally having you in my arms grew stronger everyday.

Now here we are today Chloe, a whole year later. Its hard to believe that you are almost 4 months old already. You mean so much to your Daddy and I. Your heavenly Father created you so perfectly, and everyday you amaze us more and more. I am forever grateful to God for choosing us to be your parents!

On this day last year our lives were forever changed because of you my sweet Chloe. This will always be such a special day for us, a day that we hold close to our hearts, a day that we will never, ever forget!

We love you our beautiful little rosebud,  forever and ever!

Mom and Dad

Sometimes I Miss.....

36 weeks pregnant, 9 months!

Sometimes I actually really miss being pregnant! For the most part I loved pregnancy, the whole experience was so beautiful, pure and special and I felt so feminine carrying around inside of me a precious human life. I loved the sensation of feeling and seeing my daughters little body kicking and squirming inside my belly, I loved that I was the only one that got to experience that.

Being a Mom is such a beautiful thing! and I am  forever grateful to God that he chose me to be Chloe's Mom. In a few years if its in Gods will I look forward to experiencing it all over again.

Constantly Changing

All the sleepless nights in the world are worth it for this beautiful face!

 I feel like my daughter has changed so much over these past few weeks. Everyday I am witnessing her personality shine through and take shape, and its such a beautiful thing to be able to watch. Chloe has such a sweet gentle nature about her and is so fascinated with the world around her.

Here's whats new:

:: Chloe is constantly babbling to herself.

:: Anytime we lay Chloe on the floor her new favorite thing to do is to roll from her back to her stomach, she will do this over and over again. I feel like in no time my daughter is going to be rolling all across the room!

:: Chloe sucks her thumb

:: My daughter has 2 favorite toys now, whereas before she didn't seem all that interested in toys.

:: Chloe loves to smack her lips, its the cutest thing ever!

:: She smiles and coos at strangers now

:: Chloe puts everything in her mouth

:: Its very clear that my sweet Chloe is definitely not a newborn anymore!

Unfortunately along with all these wonderful new changes has come the dreaded sleepless nights. Chloe was such an amazing sleeper for awhile, but ever since we got back from our trip to Chicago she hasn't been sleeping so great at night and will literally fight sleep. Sometimes I just don't know what to do for her. I nurse her, rock her, Mike will bounce with her on the exercise ball, then when she's finally asleep we put her in bed and bam her eyes are wide open and her little legs are moving all crazy in the air. We repeat this all night long until finally our sweet Chloe is to tired to fight sleep.

It's very frustrating not knowing what else I can do for my daughter to help her sleep, I try to stay calm and relaxed but at times that feels so difficult to do when I'm exhausted. I'm really hoping this is just a short phase we are going through, here's to hoping right!